Call for Funny Fantasy Fiction

Hey, who doesn’t like a little alliteration? 😉

And who doesn’t love a hilarious fantasy story that makes you spray Pepsi all over your computer screen?

Unfortunately, although fantasy/humor is one of my all-time favorite genres, it doesn’t seem to get a whole lot of love from the publishing industry. Fantasy is supposed to be a long, epic journey filled with really evil dragons and sword fights and heroic deaths…right? So, if you’ve written a funny story about a disgruntled warlock, it can be doggone hard to find someplace to submit it. (Believe me, I’ve looked).

That’s why I was so thrilled to discover this new anthology that is specifically looking for funny fantasy stories: Alternate Hilarities 3: Hysterical Realms. My first thought was, “They’re already on number three? How did I not find this sooner??” Alternate Hilarities 3: Hysterical Realms is currently open to flash fiction (500-1,500 words) and short story (1,501-6,000 words) submissions. They pay half a cent a word plus one share of royalties for flash, one cent a word and two shares of royalties for short stories, and all authors get a copy of the E-book. They’re also planning a Kickstarter campaign to increase author payments and hopefully fund a print edition of the book.

The deadline for submitting to this anthology is July 31st. So what are you waiting for? Dust off that warlock story, polish it up, and send it in!

Looking for even more places to send your laugh-out-loud fantasy tale? Try Unidentified Funny Objects (you’ll have to keep an eye on their website to see when they’re opening up to submissions for their next anthology). Also, Every Day Fiction loves humor in all of its glorious forms, and Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine is one of the few mags known to favor fantasy and scifi stories on the more lighthearted end of the spectrum. The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction  is another option, as their guidelines state a continuing need for humorous stories.

All this talk about funny fantasy stories got you in the mood to guffaw? Go read “Letter to the Editor” by Joshua Brown. I guarantee you’ll be wiping Pepsi off your monitor. 🙂

-Gretchen

 

New Story in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cat Did What?

So, it finally happened. That thing I’ve been dreaming about, striving for, and working my behind off to accomplish for the last several years. A few days ago, my story, “The Greatest Gift,” was officially selected for publication in the upcoming book, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cat Did What?

Thus, on August 19th, 2014 (that’s THIS year!), my writing will appear in print for the very first time.

Believe it or not, it’s actually hard for me to write those words. As a shy person with Asperger’s Syndrome, self-promotion is probably the most difficult aspect of writing I’ve faced so far. The way I was raised, you don’t brag about yourself and your accomplishments – you just plain don’t.

And yet, when you’re a writer, you almost kinda have to.

It’s just the way of the business. I know this. I accept it. But still I’ve continued to cling to my shyness like it’s my old, faded-blue security binky. Hardly any of my friends know that I am serious about writing. I think only two of them are aware that I’ve been published before. If you’re wondering how many of them know about this website, that number drops to one. For some reason, telling strangers about my writing life is actually easier than telling the people closest to me.

It’s not that I don’t WANT to tell my friends. I do! I fantasize about it, imagine their reactions, and feel my pulse-rate go up a few notches. But when I finally see them face-to-face, my courage always seems to scurry away like a spider trying not to get stepped on. I keep my head down, and when my friends ask what’s new in my life, I just smile and say, “Same old, same old. Nothing interesting here.”

But now, this book is coming out, and it’s a BIG deal. It’s my chance to show this really awesome publisher – and potential future ones – that I can successfully promote a book and generate some sales. With dreams of getting my novels published some day, I can’t afford to stay in my shell. I plan on attacking this challenge with the aggression of a hungry Grizzly Bear – seeking out opportunities for book signings and media coverage, using every connection I have, and yes, telling my friends and family about my story’s publication.

(Even if it means blushing furiously and ducking my head while I do it.)

Whatever results I get – positive or otherwise – you guys will be the first to know. 🙂

A Year of Firsts

 

I’m back!

And more powerful than ever before!

(Okay, not really – it just sounded good 🙂 )

First things first: a huge, teary-eyed “thank you” goes out to anyone and everyone who’s still around after a year of infrequent updates and long periods of static silence. For those who don’t know, my family’s home was struck by lightning during a violent storm on May 31st, 2013. The house subsequently caught fire, sustaining major damage from the flames and the water used to put them out.

In the 365-plus days since then, my family has experienced a long list of “firsts.” First time landing on a family member’s doorstep with literally nothing but the smoke-scented clothing on our backs. First time living in a trailer. First time not having home internet access in over a decade. First time having people slow down as they drove past our house, just so they could take in the destruction.

It wasn’t the easiest year in the history of us. But in many ways, it was one of the best. Sometimes, it takes losing a few possessions to show you that the real treasures, the things that could never be replaced, are the people – and pets – you love. And sometimes, it takes a hard fall to show you just how many folks you have standing around you, willing and eager to help you right back up.

Thanks to the unending support of friends and family, the bravery of firefighters, and the resilience of the human spirit, we survived this challenge and emerged on the other side, stronger, better, and ready to embrace a whole new list of “firsts”:

First night spent in our brand-new house. First time enjoying high-speed internet at home. First time having people slow down as they drive past, just so they can admire the beauty of a skillfully rebuilt home.

Thank you again for riding along with me on this bumpy journey. I hope you’ll stick around for some of the awesome stuff I have planned, including:

FAN STUFF

Great Reads: Fiction and Fanfiction Recommendations

The Race: Results will be in as soon as I catch up on my tape viewing (though, I must say, having seen the Supernatural finale, I have a hard time believing anything can top that!)

Movie Reviews: Going to see X-Men: Days of Future Past tomorrow, so you’ll definitely be hearing about that! Also will be doing mini-reviews of the superhero movies I planned to write about last year, including Man of Steel, Iron Man 3, and Wolverine.

Fangirl Nostalgia: I’ll be taking a look back at some of my earliest fangirly obsessions, including some classic Mary Higgins Clark books and my favorite couple on General Hospital: Kevin and Lucy!

WRITER STUFF

Fiction Versus Faction: Examining the difference, and knowing when one crosses the line into the other.

New Market Research Tools and Calls for Submissions: Just because I didn’t have home internet access doesn’t mean I didn’t find a few nifty things in the last year 🙂

And finally, Book Promotion: My Journey. Just days ago, one of my non-fiction stories was selected to appear in the upcoming book, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cat Did What? (release date: August 19th,  2014). It will be my first time in print, and also my first time facing the challenge of promoting a book. My successes, my failures, and anything else I learn along the way will be shared with my readers here on ATHF.